Troubador Because of You I Am

Released: 28/07/2020

ISBN: 9781838594466

eISBN: 9781838598631

Format: Paperback/eBook

Review this Book

Because of You I Am


‘Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run…’

When Alice was ten, she shot rabbits with her father. Thirty five years later, she’s after bigger prey.

Life hasn’t been kind to Alice. Abandoned by her father at fourteen, she ran away two years later to 60s London, embracing all the darkness it had to offer when hopes of finding her father are lost. But that was the past and at thirty-seven she meets and marries Jake. They have a son, Adam, and life is perfection. But when he is killed in an accident six years later, her entire life comes crashing down. 

Buried under the weight of grief and guilt, Alice sets out on a path for revenge on the mother who killed her child. Teetering on the brink of sanity, she refuses to acknowledge the truth: what really happened on the way through the park on the day Adam died? The dominoes fall, sending Alice into dark places. Does forgiveness wait for her on the other side or will she never find her way back to the light? 

Marjorie's World of Books

Thank you so much NetGalley and the publisher for my complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. This book was exactly what I love in a book dark, twisty, omg moments and so much more! So if you are looking for a book like that this one is for you.

by Athena Werter

A really good revenge story. I totally felt the pain through the writing of this book. It was well written and intriguing. Highly recommended.

by Gillian

This book is beautifully written, at first it almost felt like it was set in an older time period than the actual date it is set. The descriptive passages and small details really set the scene.

Alice has had a hard start to life. Her father left when she was fourteen. She runs away and eventually meets Jake and falls in love. Still life is not kind and we are taken through her losing her son and the grief she has from what happened that day.

I found the pace of this book to be quite slow for the first few chapters. However I soon got into the style of writing and the ending for me was perfect.

This book will stay with me for a while to come. I will definitely look out for this author in the future.

by Laura

Wow. This book is powerful in so many ways. Heartbreaking, surprising and a book that really pulled different feelings out of me. It challenged me with certain scenes and actions of characters that had me changing my viewpoint. This made the book so fascinating. I could not get enough of this story. Very compelling.

A child. A horrific moment in time. Lives altered forever.

Whether you are a mother or not this book will hit you emotionally. The ending had me literally sitting with my mouth hanging open for minutes. I was reeling as I did NOT see that coming for one moment. Sandy Hogarth delivered on giving the reader more and more with this book.

I don't want to go into the plot. This is a story that is so raw it stays with you and I really highly recommend this one to grab and read. We get to know life from a grieving mothers perspective. Sandy Hogarth does not shy away from the devastating impact this can have on a human being. Her descriptive writing is filled with emotion and I was empathising all the way. I felt for so many characters. I watched the impact of pain, blame, shame and grief of a once loving couple, how being who you once were is now impossible. How a moment in time changes your life forever and despite the yearning to get back to where you were and turn back the clock it's not possible.

There are powerful scenes in this book and psychological drama. Sandy pulls you into the plot and keeps you there with a firm grip, the reveals and exposure of the truth in this novel simply blew me away. I was totally blindsided and kudos to the author for that. The words "Oh my God, Oh my God" came from my mouth. Powerfully impacting reading. The choices one character makes are at times really shocking, ones you will not predict. This was how my feelings around many characters kept changing with more and more of the story revealed. A brilliant read. Highly recommended!

by Poppy

This is my first Sandy Hogarth book, but it certainly won't be my last.

Because of You I Am tells the story of Alice. After being abandoned by her father, Alice went on a downward spiral until she eventually met and married Jake. Shortly after, Alice and Jake have a son, Adam, and she is able to officially leave her dark past behind her. But when Adam is killed six years later, Alice begins another dark, downward spiral and sets out to avenge Adam's death.

Sandy Hogarth did a fantastic job of developing her characters and narrative. I could truly feel Alice's pain seep through the pages of the book -- the sure sign of a great writer! This was a great read for 2020!

by Jenna

This is my first novel by Sandy Hogarth and although it’s a fabulous psychological/domestic noir thriller it is also a fabulous literary novel written by a far superior author then most in this genre. The story revolves around Alice who now has everything she ever wanted (a husband called Jake, for goodness sake) and a beautiful young son. Until tragedy strikes: Then we discover we are now reading a revenge novel. Against the person who has completely derailed her perfect life. Or did she? Didn’t want it to end but the ending was satisfying and can’t wait for the next one!

by Jill

This book was exactly what I love in a book dark, twisty, omg moments and so much more! So if you are looking for a book like that this one is for you.

by Athena

When Alice, a librarian in her mid-thirties, meets Jake, her life finally begins to make sense. But after they are married and have a son name Adam, Alice really knows her true love. Constantly awed by his intelligence and sweet disposition, Alice cannot get enough of her precocious son. So when tragedy hits, how on earth will Alice move forward?

I was not prepared for a book with so much weight. I actually had to catch myself when I recognized that I was unfairly judging the characters. Grief comes in all varieties, and people handle it in different ways. Having said that, where is the line? At what point does your grief bleed translate into hurting others?

Having said that, I was very satisfied with the ending, it had hope and redemption, so I was glad not to be left completely hollowed out, as I felt through a large bulk of the story.

by Teresa

So this book had a lot strong themes and ideas throughout: abandonment, loss, love, grief, revenge and a whole lot more. The story centers around Alice and how her fathers leaves her and many years later meets someone named Jake, who becomes her husband. She thinks she has it all when their son Adam is born but he dies tragically. Alice has another downward spiral and tries to put her life back together and Jake is powerless to help her and doesn't know what to do.

Just like a few other reviews, I feel that this was not really a thriller book but one of loss and tragedy. It was well written and kept my turning pages late into the night and this surely will be the first of many written by Hogarth. Definitely a good read for sure.

by Lisa

What a great thrill and suspense it was to read. What a great psychological thrill! This novel had everything in it. The thrill, the suspense, the psychological, and the twist is crazy. This novel will keep you thinking and guessing. When you think you right, well let me just say that you might be wrong. This had me all over the place. My heart beating so fast! I couldn't believe what I was reading. If had me in shock. Every page, every chapter was a page turner. I couldn't believe my eyes what I was reading. I highly recommend everybody get this book and read it. It will surprise you in every way.
The storyline was very good!
The theme and setting was well put together. The characters was well put together in the story.
This story will have in a rollercoaster with all the spooky and secrets. Was so well put in the story.
Everything all in one book.
It was just perfect!
I highly recommend everybody get this and read it.
What a great read! This had me hooked from the beginning. What a Rollercoaster! The sitting, theme, and the Characters had me pulled so in. Everything was well put together and it was just perfect. This novel would have you guess and thinking all the way to the end. What a great thrill and suspense. I love a great suspense that would have me think and guessing. This novel did just that to me. To the point that am wrong. When the ending comes am on shock. I wouldn't of never believe or guess. Like OMG!
Highly recommend everybody get this book and read it. Its so good!
Can't wait for next book.

by Abdulia

A tale that shows what can happen when a mother’s worst nightmare comes true. While some aspects of this novel resonated with me (anger, despair), the malice was hard to absorb. A good novel with valid emotion, but hard to swallow.

by Kelly

This book was a slow burn, but I generally liked it a lot. The timeline was sometimes a little difficult to understand, but it wound together nicely. The writing is very poetry like which sometimes made it feel lighter than it should have, but then made me feel all the feelings. I enjoyed the ending and was satisfied with the end!

by Lauren

This book had me questioning everything and I loved every minute of it, You don't want to miss this awesome read.

by Mel W

Great storyline, making you question everything you think you know.

It’s quite slow burn, so it can get a little boring on some of the parts, nevertheless, the writing style is beautiful, so it’s still quite enjoyable. Though, I would say, if some of the parts were cut short, this would definitely make the book much more interesting, as people wouldn’t need to skim through long, not so necessary parts of the book.

Raw emotions are portrayed so well; I could feel everything in my body as I was reading it! And... Great, satisfying ending!

by Monika

I like this thriller. Maybe a bit softer than what I was expecting, but a good pace, nice twist and just a fun read! An author I would be curious to read again!

by NetGalley review

The main character is a teenager in the 1960s, as I was, and it was the book’s vivid description of those carefree years which first hooked me. So I was a bit unprepared for what followed, which was a brilliant exploration of the human psyche and how childhood experiences can profoundly affect the rest of one’s life. The author authentically captures the emotions of true love for a soulmate and for one’s child, at least in my experience, and these sections of the book were really uplifting. I found other sections of the book a difficult read because her portrayal of despair, bordering on insanity, when things go wrong was very disturbing, as it was so real and well written. Her use of language is remarkable. Many of these were set in beautiful Scottish landscape which are wonderfully depicted and added greatly to the atmosphere.

I found the whole book haunting and could not stop thinking about it for days after finishing it. Yes, it is disturbing in parts, but hope and love endure in the end.

by NetGalley review

A heartbreaking read that really gets under your skin and captivates you from the start. It is every parents worst nightmare!.
The Author's unique writing style really brought the story to life. The characters were fascinating, each having their own traits, and seeing how these differences impacted upon the story was brilliant.
The twists thrown into the story kept me engrossed right to the very end.
An absolute page turner, this book was fantastic!.

by NetGalley review

A great book that had me hooked! Well worth picking up as it is definitely worth a read. Great storyline and interesting characters!

by NetGalley review

I'm not much of a thriller reader these days, but I really enjoyed this book, twisty book, a story that picked away at me, and I loved the ending! It could have been slightly quicker paced, which is the only reason that it's not a 5 star.

by NetGalley review

The book was heavy in all the right way that captures you into this story that spans the life of Alice who had a very tough upbringing and reflects on the past and how it impact her present. The characters, plot, and voices were well developed and I read this in a day as I page turned wanting to know more of the story. I thought about this book long after I read it!

by NetGalley review

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