Published: 28/04/2016
ISBN: 9781785891571
eISBN: 9781785895937
Format: Paperback/eBook

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Job-wise, most of what I choose readily to recall, whether with pleasure or with pain, is already in the 2 Slices, although there's a bit more of domestics in the novel 'Dog Strap Five' (Vol.1 soon I ... read more

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Planes, Passports and Porkie Pies – Slice One
Stirring Tales of UK Border Control (but not as shown on TV)
by Mike Clarke

“This book is written for all those men and women, of every rank and some now dead, who laboured, wholly unsung, often abused and largely in vain, in the United Kingdom’s old Immigration Service to maintain the country’s border controls...”

Mike Clarke worked for 18 years in Immigration Control in London’s larger airports, the last 9 as a Chief Immigration Officer. In his time there, he encountered every scenario you could imagine – and some you’d never dream of! Planes, Passports and Porkie Pies – Slice One details the ups and downs of his working life: queues and crises, joy and despair, cock-ups, punch­-ups, forgers, robbers, liars, lovers, thugs, drugs and always the poorest of the poor.

“‘Wait,’ I hear you ask in probable shocked disbelief when you’ve read on a bit, ‘can these stories really be true?’ Well, all I can say is that every tale – barring a number of minor changes to protect both the innocent and the part-guilty, not least myself – is as accurate as my fallible memory allows.”

Join Mike as he recounts just some of his more memorable moments, from a man wearing a suit filled with £80,000 cash to his part in the truly shocking sudden death of the Russian Atomic Clock.

Planes, Passports and Porkie Pies is a hilarious memoir that will particularly appeal to those familiar with the immigration sector, as well as anyone who has ever suffered at the hands of mindless bureaucracy.

"Absolutely brilliant, hilarious...a very funny book."
– Bill Padley, Talk Radio Europe

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That's Books and Entertainment

Thoroughly enjoyed. Entertaining, thought provoking, a little heartbreaking

by Johanna

Very funny book, haven't seen Mike in several years, good to see he can still tell a good story, even if some parts are very poignant.

by barry T

As an SB man who worked for many years with IB I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I actually laughed out loud frequently. To the author, a very good read, thankyou.

by Mick hurst

This is a slice that truly whets the appetite for more. Mike provides an hilarious and nostalgic insight into a Service that, sadly, has long since disappeared.

This is a thoroughly good read and I look forward to devouring (second slice) Mike's continuing account of subsequent roles and experiences in the intensely challenging spheres of after entry and anti-terrorism.

by JS


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